The Weight of What If

All the why’s, all the what’s.

Why did you leave?

Why did you let go?

What did your last message mean?

You called yourself an idiot,

apologized, said you missed me—

But was it real, or just the exact thing

I needed to hear?

And why did you like that picture—

Why didn’t you just scroll past like everything else?

Why does giving up feel easier than trying to fix what breaks?

Why didn’t you fight harder to hold on?

And why, tell me, do I always forgive you?

Why do I keep forgetting how much it hurt

when you closed that door behind you?

When will I accept that you will never choose me?

How do I erase the tears, the sleepless nights?

Were those nightmares real—

you with someone else—or just dreams?

How is it I always end up missing you again?

Was the warmth of your hug worth the pain that came after?

Why do I believe, again and again,

that this time you’ll be different—better than before?

Like all my tomorrows could be traded

for just one more night with you—

Why do I keep making the same mistake?

When will I learn?

When will I truly let go?

When is 'enough' enough,

and how will I know?

Yes, it hurts—

But loving you hurts even more.

I don’t need you,

but I want you, all over me,

all the time.

Disclaimer:

The stories are seasoned with a lot of drama, and the characters are fictional because the drama starts when logic ends. ☺